Life in Upside Down Land

Phaedra

2011-11-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

Last week, I followed you down the path that led from the house we were renting to the beach. You had on your daddy's "Gilligan" hat, a yellow sundress and your pink sandals. Something about the way you looked made me catch my breath and reach for my camera which, of course, I did not have. I so desperately wanted to capture the image of you walking confidently ahead of me, trying to keep up with Oberon who had, of course, raced ahead.

I'm still not sure what it was exactly. Something in the combination of how small and fragile you look in that dress and how boldly you were walking ahead of me. You weren't looking back or reaching for my hand. You weren't desperate to catch up with Oberon. You were pretty much just happily walking along, content, confident, at ease.

My wish is that you may always walk through life in exactly that manner.

Baby girl

2011-08-26T00:31:00.000-07:00

My baby turns five tomorrow.
Starts school on Monday.

When Oberon turned five, I packed his lunch and his back pack and off he went with barely a backward glance. I inwardly rolled my eyes at all the mums having a quiet cry over their baby leaving the nest, and sauntered on home pushing my baby in her pram.
This time, it's different. I look at her and see my baby, my shy one, my little girl. She can't possibly manage at such a big school. Who will hug her and cuddle her and reassure her? Who will take her over to a quiet corner when she gets overwhelmed? She is so different from her inherently confident big brother.

I know, she will be fine. I know, even if she cries, she will get over it and go on and have a fun day. And I know, she will always be my baby. But it's still different.
and hard.
I am that mum. Go ahead, roll your eyes, you know you want to.

On New Zealand Mother's Day

2011-05-06T23:07:00.000-07:00

Here in UpsideDownLand, most of the daddies I know get 2 Father's Days. New Zealand celebrates on a different day than the U.S. and somehow, every year, they get both.

Mother's Day, falls on the same day although since we are a day ahead, perhaps we should get Sunday as well as Monday. But I digress....

The other day, I was with the kids at one of their favourite/favorite spots; Chocolate Frog. Oberon announced that we should "get something for Tessa" I asked why and he said, looking at me like I was a moron, "for Mother's day". Well, duh. At the risk of embarrassing her greatly, I will say, she is like their second mother and also like my 4th sister.

I managed to steer the sprockets away from the rhinestone encrusted cat shaped door stopper and on to a more suitable gift. As I was leaving, I couldn't help but think of all the amazing moms/mums I have the great privilege to know. For most of us, we are each others families, each others support, each others shoulders to cry on, lean on, laugh on. We take each others kids with little notice. We cook for each other when it's needed and sometimes when it's not. We include each other in the highs and lows of motherhood. We listen to each other go on about Weta even though most of us are in the same boat and feel precisely the same way. We throw parties for each other. We drink coffee and cocktails together.

My children miss their grammies and aunties like mad but they have a circle of amazing mums here to look out for them, love them, feed them and keep them in line when it's needed.

I have roughly ten thousand photos of these wonderful women's children and roughly 6 of the mums themselves so I did the best I could with the visuals. Please know, this is just a sampling of the amazing women I am blessed and grateful to know.

Mother love

2011-05-03T01:28:00.000-07:00

Being a mother changes you. I know, yawn....

What's amazing is that it changes you in ways you could never dream of. Yes, Goddess willing, you grow more patient, more tolerant, more grateful etc. What I am finding as my kids get older is that being their mother is altering my very core. I first started noticing this trend in subtle, difficult to pinpoint ways but it's getting worse. What brought this trend into stark relief? Well, it was a film. "Exit Through the Giftshop" is some kind of crazy documentary about Banksy. If you don't know who he is, don't worry, I didn't either. At least, I didn't think I did until the film started showing more and more of his work and then I realized I had known of him all along. Anyway, he's a super subversive (?) street artist who has managed to protect his identity despite making millions when the art world cottoned on to his particular brand of cool. Yes, go, look him up, he's cool.
Anyway, in the film, one of his projects is planting some blow up dummies dressed to resemble Guantanamo Bay prisoners at DisneyLand. This was just post 9/11 and the country was on edge to say the least. He successfully pulls it off and of course, it draws a crowd and lots of security.
What's my point?
Well, most of me was congratulating him on making a valid point and drawing attention to something that clearly needed it. But, part of me; a part that gets bigger by the year was pissed. I kept thinking of the parents who took their kids to DisneyLand for a family holiday. Maybe they saved up all year to be able to go. Then I started thinking of the parents having to explain all this to their children. As the parent of a sensitive child, it angers me that someone would go out of their way to make their disturbing point, no matter how valid, at the expense of the innocence of my child, of anyone's child.
So, yeah, I'm different now than I was 8 years ago and much more different than I was a year ago. I hear stories about bullying and I can see both sides. I have always been vehemently opposed to violence but when I saw the video - you know the one - of the kid who fought back, I found myself cheering on the inside.
I'm not sure what to make of this "new" me. I feel like I need to keep an eye on her so she doesn't get all uptight and conservative.
Today, I had to explain to Oberon who Osama Bin Laden was and why people were happy he was dead. And, I had to answer "Are you happy he's dead mommy?"
The world just keeps getting more complicated and having these little people asking you for answers makes it exponentially more challenging to just get through the day drama free.
So, yeah, take a 3 second pause in your thoughts and actions because believe me, they are watching, they are listening and they don't miss a thing.

cupcakes

2011-03-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

Well, EVERYONE is putting MY cupcake print on THEIR blog so....I felt I should put it on mine. So, here it is....Allen and Sarah made this for my 40th and it has gone viral after being picked up by a Forbe's blogger...
http://www.allenhemberger.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/cupcakeAnatomy_v03.jpg

A lot has happened since I last blogged but as usual, I have about 3 minutes so here's a summary....

We partied with James Cameron. well....sort of

I turned 40 and went to Fiji to celebrate

We got a dog!

My kids are extra cute now that school is back in...

Resolutions?

2011-01-07T15:01:00.000-08:00

As every New Year rolls around, I resolve the same thing. To be a better person. To be more patient, more tolerant, more kind, less judgmental and less narcissistic. This year, I barely noticed the changing of the year and in fact, am still writing '10 on everything. But I realize I have been dwelling on all the ways in which I am a bad mom....(friend, wife, sister, daughter - but one thing at a time).

So, I had this idea the other day to make a list of the ways in which I am a good mom. The times I get things right. Because we all forget those don't we? But we sure remember those times when we have lost our patience, made bad decisions, said the absolute wrong thing. Anyway, here goes:

- My children know without doubt that they are loved. I tell them at least 100 times a day.
- I bake for them...a lot.
- I make decent home cooked meals almost daily
- I allow my children to make huge messes. They build forts out of all the furniture and pillows in the house. they "help" me cook, they make huge play-dough projects, pour their own juice, make their own nutella toast, dig for worms and generally run amok.

- I play with them.

- I read to them every night
- I limit their screen time even on days when it would be easier for everyone not to.
- I let them dress themselves even if it means Phaedra leaves the house in mismatched, stained clothing 2 sizes too small.
- I don't work. I drive them around to their activities instead.
- I tell them I am proud of them.
- I thank them when they behave well.
- I try to spend time with them one on one.
- I make heart shaped pancakes
- I stand up for them even if it makes me uncomfortable or unpopular.
- I hug them, probably more often than I tell them I love them.
- I am working hard on getting over some of my life long hang ups so I won't pass them on to my kids. I am especially proud of this one because it is actually working.

This is all I've got right now. I am certain the list of things I do "wrong" would be three times the length but hopefully some of these things make up for some of those. My children know that they are loved, cherished and safe and at the end of the day, that's a pretty good start.

2011

2011-01-01T02:15:00.000-08:00

This year marks 6 years in New Zealand. Six years away from Target, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, Timely TV and movies and most of all, my family. Oberon is old enough now to start asking why the Hell we live so far away from the rest of our family. This is a hard question to answer. We came here for the safety, for the better life, so I could be less of a freak. Mission accomplished. Life is great and very nearly stress free. Still, I miss my family. I miss people who have left. New Zealand is far far away.

It is January 1, 2011. My family is asleep. Oberon and Kevin are in the tent in the backyard and Phaedra is in my bed waiting for me to join her. Princess that she is has no interest in sleeping in the tent. I have had too much wine and am watching the "top 100 videos" on C4. I am wondering if they are the same videos playing in America.

It's very strange to love your life and yet feel as though something is terribly awry.

The Naked and Famous have the #1 video. I think they are a NZ band so I doubt any of you are watching the same countdown that I am. Isn't that strange?

Silly Season

2010-12-11T13:12:00.000-08:00

Obe with his outstanding preformance award
flying on the rope swing

To say we have been busy is something of an understatement. The end of the school year here coincides with the end of the actual year and along with it, the Holiday season. This means that everything happens all at once...prize givings for activities, Holiday parties, final huis for school, end of year performances etc etc. And while it is all good fun and I am filled with pride at my childrens' achievements, I am, as they say, knackered.

I don't mean to sound whingy though. I am so grateful to be able to take my kids to all their activities and to be able to be there for them at every performance and every day after school. I am a lucky mommy.

Grammy (my mom) has been visiting and I have been dragging her along to quite a few of these events.

In between, we have managed to celebrate Thanksgiving, decorate the tree, meet Santa, make Christmas cookies and play many rounds of Uno with the kids. They are loving having her here and I fear tomorrow may be a sad day in the Romond household.

Ok, onto some pics!

November

2010-11-17T22:14:00.001-08:00

Well, thank goodness for Tessa or there would be no pictures of my children posted anywhere. She puts me to shame with the frequency and quality of her blogging not to mention camera use.

We have survived Halloween which gets bigger and better here every year. Oberon the zombie was very scary and Phaedra the witch was pretty darn cute.

We did some family baking:

In other news, the days are getting longer and warmer despite a chilly and windy Guy Fawke's Day.

We have made it to the beach once and look forward to more visits. Maybe with GRAMMY next week. We have been counting the days to her visit and it is fast approaching.

The pohutakawas are blooming, Phaedra is gearing up for her ballet recital

and Christmas is just around the corner.

Life is good.

Things I Miss about America

2010-09-19T03:22:00.000-07:00

We have been in New Zealand for nearly 6 years. I love it here. I love the peace, I love the pace, I love the people, I love my life.

This doesn't change the fact that every few months, I get "homesick". I put that in quotes because New Zealand is my home in almost every sense of the word.

I am having a homesick moment.
Things I miss about America, in no particular order:
1. My family
2. Mexican food - no, Flying Burrito Brothers is NOT real Mexican food.
3. Winter Christmas
4. My sisters

5. My nephew. He is starting high school and I have missed so very many milestones in his life.

6. Trader Joe's...
7. Going to the grocery and not wondering if they will have buttermilk...
8. My mom and the fact that she is missing her grandkids.

10. My sisters

11. Going to Narnie's for family Christmas.
12. Oberon's birthday being on an official long Independence Day weekend.
13. Turkey
14. Thanksgiving and all the hypocrisy and turkey it involves.
15. Fluff
16. My friends. They have all moved ahead, getting married, having babies, making lives
17. Bookstores where the sticker price doesn't send me into shock.
18. Watching movies as they come out rather than a year later while Americans are re watching them on their dvds
19. wicked as an adjective. Or is that an adverb? Laurie?
20. Malls...yeah, I said it....malls
21. Houses with big kitchens
22. Choice. Too must choice is overwhelming, too little is frustrating.
23. My childrens' Aunts
24. Allen, Sarah, Cari, Brad and Ondine

As in yoga, we must do both sides.
Things I don't miss:
1. Fear
2. Stress
3. Red vs. Blue
4. Highways
5. Too much choice
6. Schools with metal detectors
7. Road rage, Kiwis can't be bothered
8. Workers who don't give a shit how your day is
9. Fear

Phaedra is 4

2010-08-30T02:03:00.000-07:00

I have a tendency to over do certain things....I see something and I fixate on it and I MUST do it. This is how Phaedra's Hello Kitty birthday party came about. I saw an amazing website; www.bakerella.com. On this amazing website are a variety of cake pops made by someone whose issues clearly run deeper than mine. As soon as I saw the Hello Kitty version, I knew I had to make them. I spent the next few weeks convincing Phaedra that she too loved Hello Kitty and did not really want a dinosaur party. It worked for the most part and an idea was born.

In the end, I went with a red and white theme and got a little cuckoo with the details.

Since we live on this mining outpost at the end of the world, I had to be a bit creative with said details. As I was cutting whiskers from licorice with tiny sharp scissors and applying them with tweezers, I realized that clearly I have a problem.

Anyhow, the party was as successful as any party involving a group of 4 year olds could be. There were minimal tears and Oberon and Patrick even managed to have a good time. Phaedra declared it her best birthday ever and collected lots of good loot.

She crashed hard when we finally arrived home snuggling with "Crocky", her new favorite lovey from Narnie.

The Scooter Ride

2010-08-21T14:37:00.000-07:00

I was going to blog about the ups and downs of parenting but decided instead to go with something lighter. Though now that I think about it, this is a pretty good illustration of that very subject.

Yesterday, I convinced Phaedra to have an afternoon sleep with the promise of a scooter ride upon awakening. Call it a bribe all you want, I call it success all around with a happy well rested child. First, we must put on appropriate scooter gear.....

Then, off we go down the footpath. Notice the lack of helmet. Mommy didn't want to cramp the style of her budding fashionista and also thought "we're just going around the block, surely we don't need a helmet. Moments, no seconds, after this photo was taken, Phaedra took a spectacular tumble, ass over tea kettle as some members of my family like to say.

Luckily, my little princess sustained only a wrist injury and wounded pride. She insisted on going home....

Note to self.....always make the kids wear their helmets!

lucky, lucky, lucky

2010-07-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

in no particular order, I am lucky,

1. to have a friend I trust implicitly with my not only my children but also my unguarded self
2. to be healthy
3. to have healthy children. THIS is a big one
4. to have many friends whom I miss and friends who will be missed because it means I love and am loved
5. to have friends to miss me. see #4
6. to have not only the love but the devotion of a very good man.
7. to have sisters
8. to have a mom who knits treats for me, my friends and their children and then sends them to the bottom of the world, even though the postage is more than the yarn
9. that my kids have aunties and a grammy who take the time to order and then mail gifts for their birthdays. see #8
10. to have a constant roof over my head
11. to have food and money to buy more
12. to live in a country that is at peace
13. to have very small worries
14. to have such an amazing network of support here
15. to be able to offer my support to others
16. to be able to bake things that bring people joy

that's all for now. Not because I am out of things to be thankful for but rather because 2 of the things I am most thankful for need me right now

To Oberon on his 8th birthday

2010-07-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

My gorgeous boy,
When you were just a tiny baby, people who were older and wiser said to me "Cherish this time, it goes by so quickly" and I would nod and smile and inwardly roll my eyes and wonder why everyone of a certain age all said the same thing. Now I know that truer words were never spoken.

It seems equally like yesterday and also a million years ago that we brought you home from the hospital. It was the hottest summer Vermont had known in years. When you were born, the midwife looked at you and said "yup, he's been here before". You looked me straight in the eyes with a steady gaze that seemed to say "oh, you again?" You didn't cry or fuss, just went straight to work nursing and stayed there for about 6 months. I was overwhelmed with love from that first meeting.

As you know, mommy doesn't have the best memory but I remember vividly holding you close those first weeks, both of us sweaty and uncomfortable in the heat. Daddy had to run out and get an air conditioner just so we could sleep.

I remember living in Alameda and taking you almost daily on walks to feed the ducks. You were older then and had really become my little buddy. We did everything together. I can still feel your warm soft hand reaching up for mine.

Now you are suddenly 8 and your birthday is in the middle of winter instead of summer. You still hold my hand and every time you reach for me, I sigh with relief that you still need me. You have become a fascinating little man. You are so so funny. Creative. Kind. Sensitive. Loving. Clever. Cheeky.

I am still overwhelmed with love when I look at you. Sometimes I can't believe my luck for the wonderful, full, happy life we have.

Have a wonderful birthday.
Mom

On Being Sad and Venison Stew

2010-04-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

gaggle of kids at the homestead

Allen in his element

Making homemade ice cream

Allen and Sarah have left. We spent a fun filled weekend away with them and then hosted them for their last night in town. They spent the night on our couch and since Allen is roughly eleven feet tall, I don't think they got much sleep...But I digress.....

For the last meal I would cook them (for a year anyway), I wanted to make something comforting and filled with love. Since I have nearly defeated the "Wild West" chapter of my cookbook, I moved on to the "Navajo" section and landed on venison stew. I cooked it for most of the day and added copious amounts of love as I was stirring. I honestly think you can taste the love in food and I think this dish was a success. For dessert, I made "Autumnal Cake" which is one of Nigella's. It was the first birthday cake I ever made for Allen, before Sarah moved here, before there was a Phaedra, before I even knew how awesome he was. I knew he needed cake on his birthday and this was the one I chose. Between the cake and the icing, it takes 2 cups of maple syrup. If that's not an expression of love, I don't know what is!

After dinner, most of their nearest and dearest came round for drinks. I love having people in my home, eating food and being happy and I think we all had a fun night despite the fact that we all knew what Sunday morning would bring.

The whole crew accompanied the Hemsons to the airport in the morning including Oberon and Phaedra. Allen has been a part of Oberon's life since he was 3 and I met Sarah the day I was in labor with Phaedra.
They are an integral part of our family and our children love and trust them implicitly. I knew it would be hard to say good bye but kept myself together so the kids wouldn't see me upset. In the end, it was Oberon who fell apart after they left. He sobbed with real loss and sadness. It occurred to me that our kids have grown up with people coming and going and have learned to take it in stride. This was different. Here were some grown ups who were also friends, who were also family, who were a constant, a known, and now they were just gone. Tough stuff for a 7 year old.

As I was leaving the airport, I felt a lump in my throat and a weird feeling in my stomach. I wondered for a minute what it was and then realized "Oh, I'm sad". How great is it that I don't even recognize what sadness feels like anymore? I have felt anxious, worried etc but it's been ages since I have felt truly sad whereas it used to be my normal state. My life gets better every single year and I am so truly grateful for all of it. Even though it felt yucky, I am grateful for feeling that sadness if only to be reminded of how happy my life really is. Being sad is exhausting and the Romonds were tired campers on Sunday night. Regarding the sadness at the airport, Phaedra said "I was sad too but I still had fun". I kept that in mind on Monday when I woke up and went for my walk. We all had so much fun together in the last 5 years.

I hope no one else leaves anytime soon though, I don't think I can do another airport run like that for awhile.

the TROUT and Wild Things

2010-04-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

Last night, I made the "Trout with Salad" for dinner and it was a total success. I think Jamie's were probably a bit tastier as he had 4 small trout and I had one giant one but still......

The instructions said to "have your fishmonger descale and score" the fish. In the absence of a fishmonger, this was left to me. It was actually kind of fun. I could hear Tessa in my head making gagging noises but it was strangely satisfying scraping off scales and stabbing that big thing repeatedly with a knife.

He marinated for awhile in olive oil, lemon juice, bourbon (this is the Wild West chapter after all) and vinegar and then went under the grill. He was so fat I had to move the oven rack down one.

In the meantime, I made the salad which was a pretty simple affair but had yummy dill, basil and parsley which made it extra special.

I had a feeling the kids would turn up their noses at the salad, so I made a variation of a rice dish Tessa taught me. I cooked the rice in stock and added poblanos, corn and dill.

Just as I thought, my children were not amused which just tells me that they have been having nursery food for far too long. They managed to choke it down, Phaedra actually liked the fish and ingested one cucumber. I think Oberon managed a tomato. Tonight, "Mountain Meatballs"!

After dinner, the family settled in to watch "Where the Wild Things Are" which none of us had seen. That movie is sad in a way I cannot describe. It was not gratuitous sadness, just inherent, life is hard sadness. I'm glad I saw it but have no desire to see it again any time soon. Interestingly, it was Phaedra who was most affected. After we tucked her in for the night, she came into the lounge (not unusual). Kevin asked her what was up and she said "I just feel sad" and started to cry. She was ok after some cuddles from her Daddy but she got up in the night and had a repeat of the same conversation.

In other news, our front door now resembles a Buddhist temple.

Random shots of the sprockets from Circus Day

Easter and grown up rocky road

2010-04-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

First of all, I promise to post photos this time. I know my family is less than amused when there are no pics of the sprockets!

We had a lovely Easter which will sadly, be our last (at least for awhile) with Allen and Sarah. Dan made a yummy ham and everyone brought various sides of yumminess. The kids all got along despite the extended wrestling match on the trampoline (which I couldn't actually watch). Here is a photo of some more relaxed parents watching the mayhem.....

There were a lot of laughs and lovely conversation as usual when we all get together. The weekend flew by but luckily we all go away together next weekend to spend some quality time with Allen and Sarah before they fly off to the States.

We have successfully survived week one of the Easter break. Oberon and I have had some quality time together and it has generally been pretty relaxed. Phaedra has had lots of time with Mikah who she has been missing since they have opposite school schedules these days.

In other news, I have acquired my trout! I sent an email to all my Kiwi girlfriends and the fabulous Sally replied that she had a trout in her freezer. She delivered it the other day and all I can say is, they grow 'em big here! I plan to defrost and cook him up tomorrow for dinner.

Also on the topic of food, my "knitting" group got together last week for a pot luck dinner. I say "knitting" because although that is the activity that brought us together, I can't remember the last time we actually did any. Anyway, one friend in the group is gluten free and another is dairy free. I put myself in charge of dessert and decided to make "one dessert to rule them all". Well, this is easier said than done. Most of the recipes I unearthed in my search called for strange ingredients like "soy butter replacement" and "egg substitute". I couldn't bring myself to purchase, let alone cook with, these things. So, I turned to Jamie's America to see if there was anything in there that would fit the bill. Sure enough, I found a recipe for Rocky Road. Before you roll your eyes and think, yuck, marshmallows and candied cherries, oh my.....This was NOT that. It was actually made with dried fruit and a variety of nuts and seeds roasted with finely chopped chili peppers and was so so YUM. I used dairy free 70% cocoa for my chocolate and dried pears for my fruit. The nuts were pistachio, almonds and pumpkin seeds. It went fast and everyone enjoyed it even those of us with no food limitations. I love it when that happens. AND, even though it wasn't in the Wild West chapter, I am totally crossing it off my recipe challenge list. I am including my attempt at food photography, feel free to laugh, I can't hear you anyway.
:]
toasting the nuts and chili

finished goodness

Jamie's Bandwagon

2010-04-05T22:51:00.000-07:00

I am not really one to jump on a bandwagon. So much so that I often come to the party late and nearly miss out on really great things. I remember riding the subway in NYC and inwardly sneering at all the so-called grown-ups with their collective noses stuck in the latest boy wizard saga. By the time I discovered their greatness, I had some serious catching up to do.

Kevin and I watched Julie and Julia last week. Again, I resisted this movie because of all the generated hype and also because (I thought), I had no interest in Julia Child. I was pleasantly surprised and really loved the film. It made me want to cook my way through a cookbook although not "Mastering the Art of French Cooking". I love to cook. Even more, I love to feed. As with many things in my life, I have lost sight of this thing that I enjoy and find myself making the same things over and over again. Usually something with pasta or some other child safe and not very exciting dish. I have lots of valid excuses for my non inspired cooking but honestly, I am sick of my own food.

So, the challenge. In the film, our heroine Julie cooks 500+ recipes in one year and blogs about her experience. That ain't gonna happen here folks. BUT, I have been really inspired by "Jamie's America" and so have decided to start there. Jamie is a British chef who traveled around America researching fabulous food and then wrote this fabulous cookbook. I've had it for awhile and have made a few things here and there but I am already repeating recipes and passing over those that are "too complicated" or "the kids won't like". To that end, I made Kevin pick a chapter and I am working my way through it. He chose "Wild West". Last night, we had baked beans, chili cheese cornbread(stolen from the Arizona chapter) and apple berry pie. I followed the recipes exactly with he exception of leaving the chilies out f the cornbread so the kids would eat it. I must say, it was all pretty yum. ANd, I got to feed people. In addition to my immediate family, Allen and Sarah came over and seemed to really dig it. It's a bit nerve wracking cooking for Allen....http://www.allenhemberger.com/alinea/

This being New Zealand. some of the recipes are going to be a major challenge. For example, the next recipe is grilled trout with salsa. Guess what? It's illegal to buy trout in New Zealand. The only way to get it is to befriend a fisherman and beg for it. (I am working on it)

I think this little challenge may be just what I need t get me excited about cooking again. The search for ingredients here in upside down land is challenging but also rewarding. I can't tell you how happy I was to find poblanos at Moore Wilson yesterday. I bought almost all of them...sorry guys!

I can't promise you any fancy photos or brilliant food writing....feel free to go to http://www.allenhemberger.com/alinea/ for that!.

And for the record, Oberon had 2 helpings. Phaedra...well, Phaedra ate corn but as Kevin says, she can probably miss a few meals!

School Holidays, part 1

2010-04-01T19:42:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of school holidays here in Upside Down Land. Basically, it's 8 to 10 weeks on then 2 weeks off. I don't really like it for a number of reasons. Mostly because it seems to me that Oberon will just be getting settled into a groove and then, bang, 2 weeks off. I am happy this time though to have term 1 behind us. It was a wee bit rough (see previous posts!) and ended with his teacher scolding him (somewhat harshly I thought) for spelling color wrong. It's colour here which is funny because as I typed that my spell checker underlined it in red. I guess my spell checker is American. The Mama bear in me wanted to march right into that class room and explain to said teacher that although colour is correct here, color is correct elsewhere and can't we all just get along! But I digress....

Which brings us to day 1 of break 1. It's Good Friday which means everything is closed and no one is working. (except Weta) We have already been to an Easter Egg hunt, made Easter paintings and watched many cartoons. Oberon is playing with the gang of neighborhood boys and Phaedra is crafting up a storm. I am sitting in my sun filled lounge with my feet on our new grown up coffee table counting my blessings. Phaedra just told me I was being a really good girl and gave me some stamps on my hands. I just finished a yummy coffee. On Sunday, we are having our 3rd(?) annual Easter dinner at the Lemmons house with several of our closest friends. (I just got some more stamps) Phaedra was sick yesterday with a high fever and has made a full recovery. Oberon had another great week at school. The eye doctor says I am not going blind in my right eye, I just needed my prescription tweaked. I have walked every morning this week and seen one amazing sunrise after another. Kevin isn't hating work. My far away family is all happy and healthy. Our neighbors are lovely.

Life is good. No dramas.

There are a few families moving back to the States which is happy/sad. I went to a farewell dinner for my new friend Sarah last week. In her speech/toast to her assembled friends, she said "I like the person I am here in New Zealand". That is precisely how I feel. I like myself so much more here. I am more calm, less reactive, more accepting, more patient, more calm! Anyone who knew the me before can attest to this. It was interesting to hear Sarah express this same sentiment and it made me wonder if it was true for more of us ex-pats. My world is pretty small here and sometimes I long for the convenience and scope of what America as to offer. Lately, I have been asking myself if it's time to go back. Time for Kevin to work at a company with paid time off and 401ks.....Mostly, I think, NO, it's NOT time. I just hope that when or if it ever is time that I will be able to hang on to this better version of me because she is way easier to be!

That's all I got folks but will post again after Easter. Enjoy your long weekend if you are getting one. Kiwis take Easter pretty seriously and nothing much happens here til Tuesday so we will just be doing our Romond thing. You know, making cupcakes, building instruments out of cigar boxes...that sort of thing.

This morning

2010-03-16T01:55:00.000-07:00

Every morning, Phaedra climbs in bed with me for "morning cuddles". Normally, I have to drag Oberon out of bed moaning and complaining that he is "sooooo tiiiiired".

Today, Oberon climbed into bed with me, curled up against me and said , unprompted, "I love you so much Mama"

How did he know? How did my clever, gorgeous boy know that after last night, that was exactly what I needed? No one told him. He slept through my melt down blissfully unaware of the angst I was feeling. (I can't say the same for Kevin...sorry honey)

And yet, he knew. I can't believe that was a coincidence. He hasn't done that in years. A dear friend said to me that Oberon can't be a Zen Buddhist all the time but he sure was one this morning. He knew something he had no business knowing. Mama needed her little boy to tell her everything is going to be ok.

And he did.

Pressure

2010-03-09T00:17:00.000-08:00

I don't normally blog about terribly personal things. I am giving this a try as a cathartic exercise.
You see, I have been thinking a lot about pressure lately. Specifically, the pressure of being a parent. I have been doing this for 7 1/2 years now and I still kind of can't believe how freakin hard it is.

Before I go too far, I should say that I have NOT lost my gratitude. My life is wonderful on so many levels and I am so very grateful. I remind myself constantly that my children are healthy, well adjusted, "normal", happy, well fed creatures. My husband is a visual effects rock star and makes enough money so that I don't have to work. Life is good. Really good.

So, what's my problem? Well, Oberon has been having trouble at school. When I say "trouble", it's not like he was caught smoking in the bathroom or anything. He's had a few bad days in a row which culminated with him making fun of a special needs kid and getting caught. He was, rightfully, asked to leave the classroom and his teacher was not amused. I have to say here that I have met this kid and Goddess bless him, it's not his fault, but he is very difficult. He talks non stop with no sense of personal space. I met him for 30 seconds and wanted to push him away.

On top of this, Oberon is hating his sister. I know, I know, everyone hates their sister. I hated mine for years. But if I had known how much it was breaking my mother's heart, I would have hidden it better.

I know this seems very minor. Sadly, I have stopped living in the moment and my mind has gotten ahead of my life. I feel a crushing, overwhelming pressure in regards to raising these children. I think I am under qualified for this job. What the Hell was I thinking bringing not one but two children into the world? When they are babies, all you want is for them to sleep through the night. Then we want them to walk, chew, feed themselves.... Me, I am worrying about Oberon being a good man, being honest, being kind, being open minded, not doing drugs, not bullying, not being bullied, not smoking, not hating me, not being a derelict, not doing drugs etc etc etc...He's only 7, poor kid.

So, pressure. I think about it all the time. I worry, I fester, I stress. I imagine scenarios. The worst part is, I know I am doing it. I know exactly what is going on here but feel powerless to stop it. I am over reactive, I am fragile, I am not living in the moment. I am all the things I dislike.

What to do? Well, lucky me, I have fabulous friends. They keep me in line. They are tough, they are honest, they are kind. They love my children. They get me. My husband tells me daily that I am doing a good job. This is not a small thing. Stay at home moms don't get performance reviews. No one congratulates us, throws us parties or acknowledges that..."hey you, you got through the day!" So, when someone you love tells you that you are doing a good job, it means a lot.

There was a horrific update to a horrific news story today. I remember the news story like it was yesterday even though it was more than ten years ago. Before I had children, before I felt this debilitating pressure. Two 10 year old boys tortured and killed a 3 year old boy in England. Even typing these words, I am choked up. The reason I remember this story is that it hit such a nerve with me at the time. Everyone was, rightfully, pouring out their sympathy and support for the mother of the murdered boy. I remember feeling so sad for the mothers of those two 10 year olds. 10. I know some 10 year olds. I can't begin to imagine what happened that terrible day. But I feel so much for those two women who had to come to terms with the fact that their little boys were murderers. Can you imagine the guilt? The sense of failure? They have to live with that every day.

One of those boys, who was given a new identity is in trouble again. This time for child molestation. Was he evil from birth? Was it a horrible day gone awry? Would he have been ok if he hadn't gone to jail at the age of 10? Do you just get what you get? Do you have any say? Or is it all fate? Do you try and try and teach and teach and then end up with a murderer? That seems so unfair. That we, as mothers, give up little pieces of ourselves every day from the moment of conception out of love for our children and then we just get what we get? I can't believe that. because if I believe that, then, well, I may as well stop trying so hard and just throw them to the wolves.

I am lucky, lucky, lucky and I will shut up now. I mean, this is where I live....

Febraury

2010-02-26T10:51:00.000-08:00

Yup, it's been a busy month. Oberon has started at his new school. He is loving it and has settled in nicely. Lately, when I look at him, I wonder who this handsome young man is and where my round faced little boy has gone. It is bittersweet to say the least.

Kevin threw me a "Mad Men" birthday party for my 39th (!) As usual, he out did himself and set up a full bar, built light posts for paper lanterns and generally worked his arse off for several days making it great. My friends really got into it and everyone dressed up. I must say we all looked very fabulous.

Phaedra has had a big month as well. She overcame two huge hurdles and is two steps closer to cutting that cord. First, she started swim lessons without me in the pool. I realize this doesn't sound like a big deal but when we tried it last year, she was traumatized by the effort. It took 3 classes but she is in the water, with the teacher and re-learning to go under.

Meanwhile, after being SO excited about starting ballet and mommy spending $95!!!!!! on her uniform, she spent the first class crying behind my legs. Week 2 she spent 5 minutes on my lap and then joined in. Today is week 3 and I have high hopes. These little triumphs have filled me up with pride in a way I didn't expect.

Being a parent is hard. Every day has its battles, conflicts, challenges and resolutions. These little triumphs wind up meaning a lot, at least to me. I am, as always, so grateful to be able to be a full time mom. It's so very hard and was never a part of my life plan but nonetheless, I am so lucky to be in this position. I am able to pick Oberon up from school every day and be involved in his school, his homework, his troubles, his successes. I am able to take Phaedra to 3 activities a week and see firsthand her progress. It's amazing really.

Kevin is enjoying have his weekends off again and is currently fixated on building a guitar from a cigar box. Life at Weta is a bit odd these days but he is grateful to be working a regular schedule again. It has taken him awhile to recover from Avatar.

For me, I am missing the rest of my family and looking forward to seeing them in May. Living this far away does not get easier. In fact, I am constantly reminded of the things I am missing and the things they are missing. It is a BIG trade off that I feel like a hole in my stomach.

Ok, on to the pics. Love to you all from the Southern Hemisphere.

The Silly Season

2010-01-02T11:37:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2010. This year marks 10 years married to Kevin and my 39th year of this life. I haven't made any resolutions other than the one I make every year which is to be a better person. I've been making this particular one for about 12 years and I do think it is having an effect. Maybe this year I will resolve to be more patient with the sprockets and yell less. I try this one every morning but maybe it needs the weight of a year behind it to be effective.

Life here is still great. Kevin is home which is strange and wonderful. Oberon is on summer holiday. It is so unusual to have us all here at once for any length of time. Our house is wee but somehow we all fit just fine.

SO, on to the holidays. There was cookie making with Mikah, Xmas eve fun with Allen and Sarah, Christmas Day lunch with the Tobins followed by a getaway to the South Island. Smooshed in there was a quick getaway with Ken and Jeanne, The Millers and Allen and Sarah to Martinborough. Oh, and the Romonds helped Ken move some goodies to his and Jeanne's new "shed". All in all, it has been a nice few weeks only saddened by missing the Millers who are in the States with family and the idea that Allen and Sarah may be leaving us for Kentucky at some point. I am personally in denial about this one and will remain that way thank you very much.

On to posting photos, maybe I will feel more verbose later!
Happy Holidays!

Summer?

2009-12-05T22:58:00.000-08:00

Well, it's supposed to be summer but I am still rockin' my beanie and uggs. I don't know what is going on with this crazy weather but we are looking forward to more sun and less wind please!

This year, we hosted the first annual Romond Thanksgiving/Keg Party/Sleepover. It was ridiculously fun despite the wind and I truly hope it's the first of many. Maybe next year my house will be capable of seating more people as the only downside for me was that I couldn't include everyone.
(the bird; before)

The amazing Allen took many wonderful photos which can be found here: http://allenhemberger.com/personal/2009_11_thanksgiving/
I took approximately 4 and 3 of them are blurry.
(post food t.v. coma)

The following night was the Avatar wrap party/Weta digital Holiday party. It was, by far, the biggest, loudest party I have ever attended. It was pretty fabulous and Kevin looked so handsome in his vintage suit which we bought that morning. Once again, I suck with the camera but Hayley took some lovely shots which can be found here:
http://www.facebook.com/inbox/#/album.php?aid=164047&id=527087847&ref=mf

This weekend was largely consumed by gymnastics activities. Both kids had training yesterday and today was the prize giving for the little ones. Oberon and his team did a performance and it was so so good. Oberon takes it so seriously. It's great to see him focus on something for any length of time.
(ouch)

Kevin is enjoying a much less hectic work schedule and is around a lot more. Phaedra keeps looking from him to me and just smiling and saying "I love you guys". The two of them are currently making monkey bread.

Oh, and our tacky white tree is up; bring on the white trash Christmas!

Spring?

2009-11-01T12:17:00.000-08:00

Well, Spring is taking its sweet time arriving this year. Coming back to barely 40 degrees was a bit of a shock after 106 in Vegas.

The kids and I had a great time in the States despite Phaedra deciding it was time to try antibiotics and refusing to eat for 8 days. Not to worry, I think she has already gained back all the weight she lost! We were lucky enough to be in New Hampshire at the height of foliage season and also during the "World Famous Fryeburg Fair"

Halloween seemed to sneak up on us this year and my children wore....GASP......STORE BOUGHT costumes. I know, I know, it's embarrassing...... But they looked great and had a fabulous time. Halloween gets a bit bigger here every year. Tessa does her part by throwing a kick ass party for the little ones every year. She gets the super mom award this year.

Kevin is still working a million hours a week and we are in survival mode here at the Romond house. But the end is in sight and we are looking forward to our South Island adventure in December.

We are all well and happy to be home and back to our busy routines. Oberon is still loving gymnastics and doing great at school. He is very excited to be joining Carter and Abigail at Seatoun School next year.

Phaedra is busy being cute.

Morning walk

2009-09-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

I am not a gym girl. I find the equipment intimidating and the whole atmosphere overwhelming. That said, I really needed to find something to get fit. So, after being inspired by my sister Taeri who wakes every morning at 4:30 to WALK the dog, I decided to start walking every day.

The benefits of this new practice have been more than I bargained for. I am so much happier when I get my morning walk. I'm not sure if my ass looks any better yet but I my psyche is in good shape!

So, here it is...First I walk up, up, up Awa Road. Here is the view from the top:and then down, down, down to Worser Bay Beach:then walk along the beach and gaze up at THE SWITCHBACK:

climb, climb, climb to the top and look down:
I'm sure there are lots of people with beautiful places to walk but when I am up there looking down, I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world to live in such a magikal place. And now, I am off for my walk!

The warmest August ever

2009-08-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

signs of Spring at the botanic garden
cuddles with Aunt T

Oberon and Riley geared up for Go Karting
Phaedra dressed as Oberon for "dress as a family member day" at her pre school
New hat from Grammy

Well, we survived the swine flu. Oberon had it the worst and spent 8 days on his back on the couch. Anyone who has spent more than 4 minutes with my son knows how bizarre this was. I was sick with worry but he is back to normal and currently in the backyard with a gaggle of neighborhood kids playing hard.

My sister Taeri and nephew Riley also came to visit and Wellington put on quite a show for them. I warned them over and over that it was winter, it would be cold, it would rain and the wind would be ferocious. The weather seemed on a mission to prove me wrong and we had sunny, warm, still days every day but one. Of course the day after they left there was frost on the grass and it was rainy and windy.

My sister commented (as my other 2 sisters did as well) about the number of really lovely friends I have here in upside down land. It's true and I am often surprised myself especially when I find the number growing. We have single friends, married friends, young friends, old friends (like us), friends with kids and friends without. I am a lucky girl and know it because it gets harder to make friends as you get older. We all have rules and parameters and guidelines for who we will or will not be friends with whether we realize it or not. I think being thrown into a new country where I didn't know a soul made it easier in a way to make friends. Maybe we all need to pretend we are in a foreign country and open ourselves up to lots of different people.

Phaedra is nearly 3! I have been pondering lately the fact that we moved here with 4 suitcases and one child and "suddenly" find ourselves with a house which is full of stuff and 2 children! How did this happen?! I made Phaedra a Tinkerbell costume for her party and she looks a bit like a green sparkly sausage but I mean that in a good way....pictures to follow :]

Oberon recently had a geography challenge where he had to name 25 places on a blank map of New Zealand, something I don't think I could do. He got all of them right and secured himself a gold medal. Proud mama moment.

Ok, enough rambling. Life is fantastic and we are all happy and healthy. What more could a mama ask for?

Staying Happy

2009-06-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

So, what do you get when you brag about how happy you are? You get THE FLU, that's what. Actually, first, your 2 year old gets the flu and stays home clinging to your leg for a week and then you get it ten time worse.

It was a good lesson for me to take my own advice and hold on to my inherent happiness even when faced with illness. This is extra hard when you are a mum and everyone is counting on you to make their lunch, drive them around, read them books, wash their clothes, feed them, water them etc etc etc.....

Bottom line, I did ok. I am on the other side and this week has been HECTIC, On top of the flu, Oberon had his performance of Jack and the Beanstalk as well as his gymnastic meet which was today.

The performance was a bit of a Twilight Zone experience for me. I really felt as though I were watching a made for tv movie and this was the cuter than cute scene of the kids performing as only kids can. I found myself actually choked up and squeezing back tears as Oberon (expertly) delivered his lines. Later, I overheard some parents telling each other how great "that boy who played Jack" was and I felt my heart would burst. I never really knew what that saying meant. I do now.

The gymnastics meet was also a bit surreal. I was helping out recording scores so I wasn't able to watch/hover as much as I would have liked but when Oberon did the parallel bars (where I was working) it was all I could do to not jump up and down and yell "woo-hoo Oberon!" I did manage to contain myself even though he had the pointiest toes and the straightest back....

The scoring was done as teams and Oberon's team took first place. This had much more to do with the other 2 members of his group who got first and second overall but still, Oberon's marks were high enough to keep them in first place. He is still wearing his gold medal. I suspect he may sleep in it.

We've had some other dramas this week testing our overall happiness and I think we are doing a pretty good job here at Chez Romond of staying grateful and positive. Life is just too fantastic not to.

Pictures coming soon and the video will be on Youtube asap. Thanks Allen for letting us borrow the camera. For now, I will leave you with a couple random shots of our rock star.

happy happy happy

2009-06-15T00:18:00.000-07:00

finally, wearing the hat Grammie made.
climb, climb, climb
sk8ter boi
on a rare Saturday morning out to brekkie with DADDY!
How cute are they?

I have been walking on clouds lately. I think if most people could see inside my head right now they would vomit from the pure icky pink clouds of joy that are clouding it up. Swine flu worries aside, I am just overwhelmingly happy. My family is happy, healthy, thriving even. I have the most fabulous group of friends anyone could want. We have plenty of food, warmth, safety. I live in a country with no enemies (except Australia and that's only for the rugby). I rarely have to drive on the highway and when I do, it's the cutest little highway you ever saw. Kevin's job is on the same street as Oberon's school. We have a GIANT backyard. I passed all my recent medical check ups with flying colors. My sisters and my mom are all well. We are going to the States to see them in the Spring (Fall for you Yanks)

Why am I listing all this? I dunno. I just finished a book which although self indulgent on the author's part was thoroughly enjoyable. One of the things she learns on her journey is that you have to work at happiness. You can't just sit back and wait for it to find you. You have to go and find it and when you do, you have to work to keep it alive. You have to work through petty disagreements, silly slights, bad weather, perceived judgments, dumb colds and flues, bad mommy (or daddy or friend or person) days, ungrateful children, burnt cookies, canceled plans, etc etc etc.

Another thing I have been thinking about is something I learned from Kevin ages ago. It is the idea that depression is the opposite of gratitude. I believe this with all my heart and remind myself (and Kevin) of it often. It makes me horribly sad when I see people who have lost sight of not only their joy but also their gratitude.

So, for whatever reason, I have been filled with joy and gratitude lately. I hope it lasts a long long time and should it fade away, I do hope someone will remind me to be grateful.
over and out

Baking and such

2009-05-29T00:32:00.000-07:00

look at that bridge....
after 100 tries, got one of the two of them, not trying to maim or out-do each other.
splits hurt...
mmmmm....beef stew
"why yes, I am the cutest thing in the kitchen."

Phaedra is at that stage where she really likes to "help" me bake. As I recall, Oberon went through this stage at roughly the same age. As most of you know, I bake..... well..... a lot. So, this means I either ban her from the kitchen or embrace her help. I embraced it with Oberon and the benefit was that the boy could crack an egg like Gordon Ramsey by the time he was 3. The downside is that my kitchen is trashed more than usual which is....a lot.

Tonight, Phae and I made biscuits. They came out great but the biggest joy for me was watching her mimic my movements to perfection. When the biscuit dough ran out, I replaced it with play do. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her rubbing the cutters in flour and tapping the excess out before patting the dough, rolling it out and using the cutters. When I see my children do these things, I flash right back to being small and watching my mother bake bread or sew or knit. I always marvelled at her hands. They were so graceful and efficent and clever. I wonder if my children think the same when they watch my hands. I hope so.

While Phaedra and I were baking, Oberon was in his room checking out the new "how to draw monsters book". After about 5 minutes, he came out to to kitchen table and reproduced one of the monsters exactly.

Bring on the long weekend......Long, as in, everyone else has Sat, Sun and Mon off except......Weta!!!!!!

I wish I were a better writer

2009-05-15T18:50:00.000-07:00

Having just read a post written by a friend of mine, I am humbled by her ability to describe events as well as convey a feeling. Sadly, writing is not one of my skills but I can make one hell of a brownie so, we all have our talents.

The other day I put up some butterfly and fairie decals on Phae's side of the room. Oberon already has his super cool skateboarder decals up. It made me so happy to decorate their room that I was forced to ask myself why it brought me so much joy. I think the simple answer is that I am grateful to be able to buy such frivolous items as wall decals when there are people struggling to make their mortgage. The deeper answer is that it made my inner child really really happy. She finally got her pink faeries. Sigh.

My wonderful husband bought me a new camera for Mother's day and I will do my best to post some pics from it here. I have not RTFM yet so I can just barely take a picture with it. It is shiny and new and I love it but the thing I love most is that he put it under my pillow for me to find.

I was allowed a "sleep in" on Mother's day but it all turned to custard at about 7:30am. Apparently, Oberon had been bugging Kevin to make my breakfast in bed since he arose before dawn and Kevin just couldn't hold him off any longer. And so, I was awoken by a plate of bacon and eggs being precariously balanced by my very eager nearly 7 year old. It was lovely although....early. I must admit the highlight of the day was my gift from Oberon which Kevin helped him make. It is an "angel spoon". A wooden spoon with wings. It's so amazing and as I told Oberon, it's just the sort of thing I would want to buy if I saw it in a shop.

More on my amazing boy, he has been asked to compete next month for his gymnastics team, is Jack in his school's production of Jack in the Beanstalk (Roald Dahl's version) and has recently been referred to the gifted and talented program at his school. Sorry to brag but if you can't brag to your family.......Phaedra is still a professional at all things cute and is currently obsessed with "Jingle Bell" a.k.a. Tinkerbell. She copies every thing Oberon does good, bad and other including doing her "homework" at night when he does his. I will close with this recently overheard conversation:
Kevin: "Phaedra, were you a good girl for mommy today?"
Phaedra: "Ummmmm, maybe tomorrow daddy awight?"
I think that just about sums it up.

AFTER, more pics

2009-04-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

AFTER

2009-04-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

And now, behold the miracle that is "after". My man does good work! We had lots of help and I can't thank you all enough - you know who you are :} This is kitchen, lounge bathroom. Will put a couple more on next post.....

Before and after

2009-04-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to share with you all the wonder that is my husband. We bought this house knowing it needed a lot of work, but I had NO IDEA! I post now for your viewing pleasure some "before" and "during" shots. When I find my camera thingy, I will post some "afters"

Boxing Day

2008-12-26T12:12:00.000-08:00

Kevin spent most of boxing Day in bed...I suspect he has overdone it on his big tramp and his body is rebelling. It was a beautiful summer day so the kids had lunch outside. Phaedra attempted to copy Oberon and bite a hole in her peanut butter and Nutella sammie. Oberon impressed us all by pushing partially chewed food through the new hole created by the loss of his first tooth.

In other news, my mom sent me some new yoga sox which Phaedra decided were best worn with nothing but a too tight tee shirt.
enjoy.

Xmas video

2008-12-25T19:43:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh6zHpQ8b84

Happy Christmas!

2008-12-24T19:38:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful sunny, warm, summer day here for Christmas which you would think I would be used to after 4 years here but it still freaks me out.

Last night was spent with the Millers drinking seriously yummy and potent egg nog and eating ginger cake. It was here that Phaedra received her favorite gift, a pink and brown buggy for her babies. It was so popular with both she and Mikah that it eventually had to be confiscated and hidden in the bathroom.

Kevin and I were awoken at a fairly respectable 6:30am which is only a half hour earlier than when I usually hear the "thud thud thud" of Phae's delicate Fred Flinstone feet. Santa had arrived, drunk his beer and left a fair amount of gifts considering I had officially cancelled Christmas when we bought our dream home. Anyhoo, five minutes later, all the wrapping were off (Oberon) and half the chocolate Santas had been eaten (Phaedra). Oberon's favorite gift was his "new" Gameboy Advance (thanks Allen). In fact, we really only needed to give him that because with the exception of eating, his nose has been stuck in his Gameboy all day.....and is now. Oh, Phaedra also got face paint crayons from Santa.....see photo.

We had a lovely lunch with the Tobins. Annwyn pulled out all the stops and it was the best meal I have had in a long time. This is the first year in ages that I haven't cooked and it felt a bit odd at first but I think I could get used to it! We are just now home and ready for a siesta. As always, it is hard to be away from family this time of year but I am so so grateful for my wonderful surrogate family here. I don't know what I would do without them. I am counting the days until Laurie and Michelle invade the North Island, I think it's 51 now.

Thank you all for your lovely gifts, Phaedra wore her new "ballerina" today and Oberon has many more Ben 10 toys to battle each other as well as a new cool skully hoodie.

Ok, onto uploading the photos, big love to all and to all a good night.
L

2008-11-27T01:57:00.000-08:00

Wow
So much has happened lately. I guess the most significant thing has been the visit of my mom and Aunt during the U.S. election. We all stood in front of the projected images with our fingernails in our mouths and watched the results come in. Needless to say, it was a happy day. The best part was the fact that the election coincided with Guy Fawkes Day here in New Zealand where for three days you can buy fireworks at the grocery store. I am not talking about sparklers, I am talking blow-your-hand-off fireworks. Ken came armed and once the sparklers has been spent, we all proceeded to a field to light the big ones. We won't be rushing back anytime soon tho, having just bought our Kiwi dream home.
over and out
(I said I would be better, not longer)

Long time no blog

2008-10-15T01:31:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, it's been ages. This blog is at the bottom of a long list that includes things like; print photos of second child so when she growns up she doesn't need therapy over the fact that there are ten thousand photos of Oberon in the house and precisely one of her.

Ok, to catch up....the big secret birthday project for Kevin went off brilliantly. He claims to have had no idea that there was a giant surprise party as well as a trip to the Gold Coast that I planned for over 6 months. I also managed to make he and Oberon matching jackets on the sly. The whole event was modeled after "The Amazing Race" and the amazing Sarah helped me with all the graphic design. Her equally amazing partner Allen took heaps of photos which can be found here:
http://www.allenhemberger.com/flash/protected/personal/2008_08_romondRace/

In other news,,,,we bought a house! Holy CRAP! It is such a "doer upper" but it's on a big piece of land and someday we will make it a fabulous house. In the meantime, it's a good thing we get along becasue the house is TINY.
http://www.nz.open2view.com/Property/189908?key=52f9f106ac2504c60ce9&search_id=6944466

Life is really good despite the stress of buying a house and the amount of work Kevin has at the moment. Phaedra is talking up a storm and now refers to herself as "boo boo kitty". She is taking after Oberon and puts on funny voices for different characters. Oberon is back at school after a 2 week break. We had a great time together and I was almost sad to see him go back. We leave tomorrow to Ohakune to play in what's left of the snow.
http://www.ohakune.info/ruapehu.html

Other than that, summer is coming which makes everything better. My mom and Aunt are coming which makes everything that much better. Looking forward to some free babysitting :]

I will try to be better about this blog thing. I am also terrible about photos. Between Kevin and I, we have approximately 3 million photos trapped in our respective cameras.

I will try but no promises.
L

why we have children

2008-07-13T01:18:00.000-07:00

Kevin to Oberon: "son, could you get your dad a beer"
Oberon: "sure Dad, I'll get you a beer. Mom, I'm getting dad a beer" (all proud)
Me: "Hang on a sec and I will help you open it."
Oberon: "I can open it" (reaches for mermaid shaped bottle opener hanging on wall) "with this sweet baby right here"

At this point, I almost wet my pants, I was laughing so hard. What is particularly funny is that I don't think anyone, until now, has referred to the mermaid bottle opener as "sweet baby" even though she is, indeed, a sweet baby.

I realize the photo is unrelated but honestly, how frickin cute are these two? This was taken at our friend Amelie's fairy princess party. As you can see, Phaedra is channeling Avril Lavigne and going for the goth fairie look while Mikah is rocking the androgynous elf look that the goth chicks find so appealing. These kids have it goin on.

blah blah blog

2008-07-03T02:44:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, it's been ages. I have been hella busy doing nothing and everything and I apologize for the lack of blog. I also apologize up front for the lack of pics this time around. I am sitting on the couch watching crap tv and am too lazy to look for pics.

Speaking of pics, Oberon just turned 6 and I made the most fabulous cake shaped like a skateboard. Oberon declared it AW-SUM and there is one picture of it trapped forever in Kevin's camera.

And speaking of Kevin, we just had our 8 year wedding anniversary. What can I say, I have the best husband in both hemispheres. Anyone who knows Kevin knows that he doesn't do anything half assed. My gift this year was the most ridiculous, over the top, Italian coffee machine. It was so fabulous, it came with it's own little Italian, Mossimo. He set up the machine and gave us a lesson, all the while chatting away in his adorable Italian accent wearing his funny Euro-clothes. I have to say here that I think Mossimo has a wee crush on my husband and let's be honest, who would blame him?

Before I sign off, I feel the need to rant just a bit. I am so grateful to be surrounded by such an amazing support network and I think sometimes I take it for granted. I mention this because not everyone has it. No one in my life has ever made me feel badly or guilty about a. being a working mom or b. being a stay at home mom who chooses to send her toddler to pre school. And yet, lately I keep hearing stories of women being made to feel guilty about either or both. This got me thinking.....I have 3 friends who came to NZ for their partners careers. These 3 women do not have children and while they were here they also did not have "real jobs". I NEVER heard anyone give them shit about "what are you doing with your free time". At the same time, I have friends with children who are made to feel guilty for wanting some time to themselves or for working. The worst part is that the bad feelings are coming from other moms. WTF? Where is it written that to be a good mom you have to give up every other part of yourself? I am a better mom for having some "time to myself". I HATE going to music, art, playgroup etc and Phae gets all that and more at her little school. I have another friend who is completely devoted to being a mom and takes her child to activities all week long. I think she is amazing and I am totally impressed by her. Another friend works full time and is the main provider in her family. I am equally impressed by her. Why am I ranting? I just wish everyone could live and let live. There is not one right way to be a mom just like there is no one right way to be a person. ok, I am done. For the record, Phae has swimming tomorrow....with me!

Happy Mommy Day

2008-05-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it's mum's day here at the bottom of the world and so far it rocks. I was left to sleep until 9:30 and then went for brunch at Allen and Sara's house. It was so lovely to have a relaxing brunch with friends rather than fight everyone and their mother (literally) for a table at one of the 6 good brunch spots in town!

Speaking of A and S, they came along to my first ever Astanga primary series class on Friday night. If that's not devotion, I don't know what is. They admitted to being sore on Saturday which makes me feel I did I good job.

I have been pretty family-sick lately and watching the air fares with the idea of a trip to Vegas in July. It doesn't help that winter has come and as I type this I am in my winter uniform of Uggs and beanie. I don't mind it being cold outside, I mind that it is often colder inside and the method of heating leaves hallways freezing cold. This has the effect of me wanting to "rug-up" and sit on the couch watching Oprah. Kevin has humored me and bought another heater and the heaviest duvet available.

I just finished a bit of work on the opera "La Boheme". I did some costume breakdown which is basically making costumes look old, dirty and generally worn out. It was good fun but hard work and went against everything I know about clothing.

Not much else to report. Oberon is his same crazy self and Phaedra's cuteness is only outweighed by her actually weight. I will get on to the business of posting the pics now. Happy Mother's Day to all the great mums and moms out there.

Happy Birthday Grammy!

2008-03-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

My extremely talented children have put together this lovely video for their Grammy's birthday. Enjoy!

movie

2008-03-21T15:06:00.000-07:00

We have crossed to the dark side and purchased a MacBook. I am pretty frightened by the whole strange thing but must admit, it is pretty cool. It has a camera built in and Kevin has made a quick movie of the sprockets for your viewing pleasure.
enjoy!

Almost Fall

2008-03-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I am sorry to say that I have nothing exciting to report. Summer is continuing in all its lovley-ness and all here is well here. We have been househunting which is fun but a bit stressful as well. We found a lovely house 45 steps from Weta which Kevin reckons may be a wee bit too close for comfort :]

Oberon is doing really well at school and is excelling at reading as well as writing. His new teacher is a bit tougher than last year and that, my friends, is a good thing. The poor woman has 11 boys and 5 girls in her class. I think if it were me, you would find me curled under my desk in a fetal position whimpering "please be quiet, please be quiet".

Phaedra is yacking up a storm and we are still waiting for her to "slim down". So far, she seems to just be expanding. Her latest cuteness is "thank you mama" whenever I hand her anything. She loves her pre school and her babies and will mimic anything big brother does which is becoming a bit of a worry as he likes to bang his head into the wall just to see if she will follow. She does.

Avatar is heating up a bit at Weta and Kevin is showing the early stages of stress but handling it well so far.

Me, I am happy and healthy and enjoying my one night a week of teaching yoga. I am getting a bit of a following which is no small task considering Miramar is a tiny town and yoga hasn't really caught on here as much as in the States. My class is pretty hard and sweaty so I am psyched when anyone shows up! My friend Annwyn who is a photographer recently used me as a model for a project so I can finally include a picture of me where I don't look like I just rolled out of bed.

I know this was a boring post but life is just chugging along and that is ok with me. I am dreading Winter and all that it entails but this summer has been amazing and lovely and easy so I will try my best not to whinge.

As always, I miss all of you who are far away.

Summer part deux

2008-02-23T17:31:00.000-08:00

The big news here in upside down land is that Kevin and I had two whole days away in Auckland without the ankle biters. It is the first time in 6 years that we have been away just the two of us and it was brilliant. We really can't thank the Millers enough for watching the sprockets and hope to return the favor someday soon.

While is Auckland, we enjoyed a lovely non-kid friendly hotel, went out to an expensive non-kid friendly restaurant and generally reveled in the non-kid friendliness of it all. We came across a fascinating billboard for a church. I have added a pic for your viewing pleasure.

Yesterday, we went to the wedding of Jeanne and Ken. As most of you know, I made Jeanne's dress and it was so fulfilling to see her in it having her "special day". It was a perfect day and lovely ceremony where I once again marveled at how many friends we have here and how lovely they all are.

Mostly, life is just lovely and easy and summer continues to bless us with lovely days and cool nights. Oberon has discovered graffiti, "gangsta" style and now signs his name O:B because that "is my style". He is also making some amazing art and generally just blowing us away with his cleverness. Phaedra just keeps getting cuter and more fun and now insists that her name is Ahmie. She walked over to a stranger at brunch today; gave him a hug and sat in his lap much to the delight of all the people at the table who let out a collective "Awwwww"

Ok, I know this wasn't the most exciting post ever so I will just slap some pictures up because I know that's why you are here.
peace

One more thing

2008-01-27T10:33:00.000-08:00

Phaedra has decided that her name is "mommy". My name is "Mama". You can ask her 50 times to "say Phaedra" and she will, with the exact inflection as you, say, "Mommy". If you point to her and say "who's this?", she says "mommy".
I am not sure if this is cute or creepy but it's something

Summer; the reason we live here

2008-01-26T23:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, winter in Wellington sucks. a lot. It's not that it's SO cold or that it rains for weeks at a time. It's the fact that most places, including ours, have no central heat, double paned windows or insulation. There are days where I sit in my house wearing a beanie and gloves huddled next to an oil heater and cheerfully (?) pay the electric company hundreds of dollars a month for that privilege.

Alas, just when you think you can't take another day of it and are ready to pack your bags and head back to the land of excess and, gasp, central heat; summer begins.

Summer in Wellington rocks even more than winter sucks. It gets hot but usually not too hot and there is almost always a breeze of some kind. Everyone is extra happy and people truly take advantage of every precious oil-heater free second. There are beaches literally everywhere so if one is too crowded, you just go to the next. There is free sunscreen all over the place and you can rent a beach umbrella for a dollar.

The Romonds have been doing our best to enjoy the summer like everyone else. We have been to the zoo, various beaches and parks and spending lots of time outside in general. Oberon has been tearing it up at the skate park and both kids are practically living in the paddle pool. It's weekends like this that make me almost forget the suckiness of winter.

In other news, my teacher is back so I am done teaching yoga for the moment. I am equal parts relieved and saddened by this and hope to do more teaching soon. I will not, however, miss the 5:40am alarm beeping in my ear.

Oberon is back to school on the 7th so we have another week and a half to "play" before he begins Year 1 with a new teacher. He has been going to art school over the break and generally blowing us away with his creations. Every day, I see more and more Kevin in him. (Except the emotional outbursts, those are all me)

Kevin is doing a good job of not working more than 50 hours a week and we have all been enjoying having him around more.

Phaedra is yacking up a storm and bossing Oberon around. Mikah is back so she has him to boss around as well. Tessa returned with half a suitcase of clothes for her so she is looking cuter than ever.

I guess that's all for now. Life is pretty quiet these days and that, my friends, is a good thing.
Love to all
over and out

Blah blah blog

2008-01-18T10:58:00.000-08:00

The main purpose of my blog is to keep Grammies and Aunties up to date on the little Romonds. However, I feel the need to write today about how much I love my life and how happy I am. As I quickly approach my 37th birthday, I can't help but think about "getting old". Trouble is, I feel younger and healthier than ever in my life! I attribute a lot of this to my New Zealand life. I have very little stress but that really is an understatement. Not only do I feel safer in general and completely in control of what happens to me, but my family also has less stress which makes everything just better. After a hard day at work, Kevin walks up the hill and is home in approximately 2.5 minutes. No crazy highway traffic here. Oberon goes to school about 100 yards uo the road from Weta and Phaedra goes to the cutest little childcare centre you ever saw. As for me, I had been missing having some kind of career but I have finally after 10 years, achieved my goal of being a yoga teacher. I was able to do this through the amazing support and encouragement of my teacher. I told her one day that I had wanted to teach and she decided that I absolutely should. She then took her precious free time to train me and I am now teaching 4 classes a week while she is in India. In case any of you missed it; this is HUGELY important to me and I am thrilled beyond mention to be able to realize this dream. To me, it's just another example of the support that surrounds me here. Here's another: I have a group of lovely ladies that I am friends with. Friends that we travel with, friends I would (and do) leave my kids with without a second thought. When I was pregnant with Phaedra, I had bronchitis and was maybe the sickest I have ever been. These ladies (2 of whom were also pregnant) brought me homemade soup in many incarnations. In the last year, two of my friends have lost family members and one has been horribly ill. We have all taken turns bringing food and offering childcare to each other in our times of need. I am truly blessed to be a part of this group.
I miss my family and my friends in the States (and England and Denmark) desperately and my happiness here in no way lessens that. It's just that for me, I feel that I am a better, healthier, more well rounded, calmer person here and I sure don;t want to give that up. I go to sleep at night thinking how happy I am and I much I love my life and it just rocks.

Happy New Year

2008-01-08T11:48:00.000-08:00

For New Year, we went to a bach (beach house) at Te Horo beach. Our friend Tannya owns it and her great sense of style made for a lovely stay. We went with the Lemmon family (Kristy, Dan, Carter and Abigail)

Some highlights were: Oberon, learning and actually playing chess, Oberon and Abigail having an in depth discussion about the nature of fairies, watching the crazy children swim in the frigid water and seeing their lips turn blue. It was a very relaxing weekend involving lots of pleasant conversation and quiet book reading.

Phaedra is talking up a storm and currently has 60+ words in her repertoire. It is a bit scary how well she communicates. Be afraid, be very afraid!

We are in the throes of school holiday and it has been raining for a few days now. I foresee a fair amount of tv in Oberon's future.

In other news, Kevin is, sadly, back at work. He is trying to hold onto that holiday calm that he managed to generate over the last few weeks.

I am busy teaching 4 yoga classes a week while my teacher is away.

Phaedra is busy learning new words and missing Mikah.
ttfn!

Christmas Fun

2007-12-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

We had a really wonderful Christmas this year. On Christmas Eve, The Lemmon family and the Tobin family along with Kawaldeep came over for drinks and dinner. We had a great time and as always, I was left feeling filled with gratitude for our lives here and the friends that we have made. By the way, Annwyn Tobin is the photographer who took the pic on my profile and I love her SO much!

Oberon exhausted himself playing with the other kids and actually had to go lay down for a bit before he could rouse himself to scatter the reindeer food. (oats and glitter)

Christmas madness began promptly at 6:20am. Oberon got heaps and heaps of gifts and despite all of the indulgence, he was really good and grateful all day. It was one of our prouder parenting moments. However, we are quite disturbed by the amount of rubbish created by this holiday and next year, we may forgo gifts altogether and have a family vacation instead. That said, Phaedra LOVES her new babies and was so busy mothering them that she had to have a big sleep. I can relate. Oberon's favorite toy upon initial opening was the Ghost Rider figure and motorcycle from Aunt Laurie but he has since moved onto the radio control truck which was our "big" gift to him. He is also quite fond of the Nerf gun that Santa brought. It sure didn't take long for Mommy to ditch all her ideals regarding gender specific toys. Oh well, I guess you can't fight Mother Nature.

Christmas dinner involved a lovely turkey and a visit from our friend Kawaldeep. It was a great holiday and we are looking forward to going away next weekend with the Lemmons.

I get pretty homesick at the holidays (as cliche as that is) but our friends here are so lovely that they continually make up for the lack of family nearby. Still, whenever I cook a turkey, I think of my sister Laurie and I one Christmas tying a turkey's legs together with garbage bag twist ties because it was all we could find in her apartment. We were quite proud of our ingenuity. I also always think of my sisters and mom sitting on the bunks at the AMC base lodge eating m and m's and drinking champagne.

Love to all

Summer in Wellington

2007-12-21T23:44:00.000-08:00

Summer here is brief. So, when there is a lovely sunny day, it's pretty much a law that you get outside. Today was one such day so we headed to the skate park. Oberon is the youngest skater there whenever we go and he is pretty good. I don't actually watch because it makes me too nervous but word on the street is that he is a respectable skater.

The Pohutakawas are officially in bloom. They are New Zealand's Christmas tree and every year at around Christmas, they are filled with red blossoms. They are everywhere and the effect is pretty stunning.

Phaedra has been a bit out of sorts and I think it's because she misses Mikah. He and his family have arrived safe and happy in the States.

And So It Begins

2007-12-20T14:39:00.000-08:00

It is officially school summer holiday. It's only been one day and I already understand the look of dread that comes over mums faces when they discuss "the holiday". Oberon is a ball of energy. Actually, Oberon is a supernova of energy. Six weeks feels very long.

Phaedra's new not cute thing is mommy possesiveness. If Oberon dares come to me for a cuddle, she shoves him away with both hands yelling "NO". The other day, she clearly said "NO, MY mama" when sweet baby Amelie dared to touch my knee. It's good to be loved but this could be trouble!

The biggest news is that I taught my first yoga class Friday at 6:15am. It went surprisingly well and I am quite proud of myself. The feedback was positive and I can finally say I am a yoga teacher :] My lovely friend Annwyn came along and was sure to be at the studio early which helped keep my calm.

Kevin is off work for two whole weeks as Weta also closes for the holiday. He has a list of things he wants to do that should take roughly 6 months so we'll see how he goes. Mostly, we just want to enjoy the fleeting Wellington summer.

Oh, for added excitement, there was a big earthquake (6.8) on Thursday night. It was centered about 3 hours north of us and was the second one that I have really felt since we lived here. I think 2 is enough to last me a long time.

Lots of love and enjoy your holidays! Happy Summer/Winter Solstice to all my pagan friends.

Flowers

2007-12-13T22:27:00.000-08:00

I was recently asked to help construct giant flowers for a stilt dancer. She is also an artist and was given a grant to do an installation at The Grand Hotel and Casino in Auckland. It was a lot of work but I think that the end result is pretty cool.

In other news, I have finished my last yoga training and been given my key to the studio. My first class is next Friday and I pretty much want to puke when I think about it! Lucky for me, it's an incredible supportive environment and everyone is cheering me on

Oberon had his first disco last night and it was pretty much the most insane thing I have ever seen in my life. These kids bring new meaning to the word "breakdancing". When we first arrived, Oberon looked around and looked at me and said "want to go home". I pretty much wanted to run him out of there myself but some sense of calm overcame me and I convinced him to try again. Minutes later, he was break dancing and wreaking havoc with the best of them. I was then summarily dismissed.

Today was also crazy hair day at school so I will attach a pic of Oberon with his new blueberry 'do. We are hopeful that it will eventually wash out.
xo

Santa Claws

2007-12-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

Today we took Phaedra and Mikah to see Father Christmas. We were hoping for the classic crying baby photo and lucked out. It helped that Father Christmas looked a lot like the Grim Reaper and was roughly 7 feet tall.

Oberon took matters into his own hands on Saturday and made himself a ghetto Santa costume out of construction paper (one of the many odd things you can't get here; thanks Grammy!)

Phaedra's fiance

2007-12-07T10:17:00.001-08:00

My dear friend Tessa (whom I love very much) and I were knocked up at the same time. (As were several other Weta wives; at the end of King Kong, hmmmm)

Tessa had a beautiful boy called Mikah who has since asked Kevin for Phaedra's hand in marriage. She accepted even though she likes to keep him guessing. I had to post these pics as they are evidence of one of the few times she has allowed him in close.

More of same

2007-12-06T22:25:00.000-08:00

So, it's almost Christmas which here in upside down land means summer. Wellington has a glorious, albeit short, summer. It is light until almost 10pm and we have been having beautiful sunsets. This will be our third Christmas here and it is still very strange. For example, you don't notice the lights on your Christmas tree until it's time to go to bed. Wellington also turns into a ghost town as most people go away or rent a bach (beach house) over the school holiday. Shops close down for ages. It's actually kind of cool to be in town and have bbqs with the remaining inhabitants. We are finally on the ball and are renting a bach for New Year's thanks to my friend Kristy's quick response and my friend Tannya's bach!
I am almost done my yoga teacher training. It's taken me 10 years but I will finally be teaching yoga. My first class is 21st December, the summer solstice. I will then teach 3 days a week for the month of January. That is assuming anyone turns up!
The picture of Oberon is pretty much his usual face. He is on his way to doing stand-up and may need to move in with Aunt Laurie in Vegas to further his career. He is asking lots of questions about Santa which I have so far managed to answer with "What do YOU think?" thereby standing firm in my belief not to lie and yet managing not to "crush his belief in majik"
HA.

Life in MY fab lane

2007-12-04T22:57:00.000-08:00

Ok, so lots of interesting people I know have blogs and when I have time to read them (rarely) I find them entertaining and hysterical. Mine will probably only be interesting to doting Aunties and obsessed Grandmothers to my two gorgeous, genius children. I am ok with that.

Phaedra the 15th month old wunderkind has been forming complete sentences lately which I didn't realize was strange until my friend Annwyn said "You should be very afraid." Her latest sentence of choice is "No night-night mama, I play" Genius, I tell you.

Oberon has just received his first end of year report card and did very well. I am still trying to get my head around the school system here but basically, Oberon is year 0 because he started 2 days after the 30th June cut off. (kids here start on their 5th birthday regardless of when it falls). So, next year, he will be year 1 not year 2 as I had thought. BUT, they do "blended" classes here so he will be in a class with years 1 and 2.

Kevin is working hard on Avatar as are most of our friends. Everyone is looking forward to the break except those of us with school age children. Why? you ask. Well, because they have 8 WEEKS off from school and need to be entertained every second. Also, most of us have no family to ship them off to and Qantas has some silly policy about them having to be 8 to fly alone. You're off the hook for three more years Aunt Laurie.

Ok, that's all for now. I will try to think of ways to make my blog more interesting. I love my family, I love my life, I love New Zealand but I can't say that over and over and call it a Blog. Can I?